I got to let it go.
It was an idea born a long while ago. When there were only 24 teams in the MLB. As can be seen from the archives of this blog, I attempted this back in 2011. Back then, the end was not so rosy.
It is fitting that the accident on that previous journey, and the missing of the game yesterday, came on Memorial Day.
This time though, I just missed a baseball game.
Not rear ended by a drunk driver. Not a broken spine……not a list of other issues. Not a continuing feeling of doom. Alls of which I still suffer/struggle with.
I will now treat that as my old life.
These last days of fun, and they were fun, act for me now as closure.
I had to give it a shot.
Through all my medical procedures, (and ongoing) and the rest of all the stuff is now my life. I am feeling pretty punchy and sore at this ponit in the trip. Cannot see me getting up in 7 hours……..to make a 12 hour drive to Oakland.
The process of 30 in 30 has gotten me thru much in the past seven years. Every season I would figure out a “virtual trip” with the hope I might be able to accomplish it someday. Up to now, physically & mentally, I would not have even attempted it. I had spoken with some of my friends, to go along……..but I really REALLY like the solitude of the road.
I have come a long way, from not even being able to get in a car…………..then with something to mask my eyes……to reacting to every beep, when riding. I really only got even comfortable in a drivers seat in the six months. I still have more than a few issues that limits my ability to do so.
I would also like to say here, that if due to my inability in this new task of my driving capabilities…..combined with continuing fatigue, caused me to hurt someone, I would not like that at all. Not at all. On that as a sidebar, even with all the miles I have logged in the last week, I still think I am the safest one out there.
The fact that I tried to do this is great. The fact that I am giving up the thought of it being a “life’s mission” is even greater.
For the fact I now have learned is that baseball is not life.
Life is Life.
Baseball has just always been my passion, since I cannot even remember when. Now I can just be a fan.
I have a real passion.
I cannot wait to see her. She has gone far to long w/o my attention.
I am so happy.
Mission Control, this ship is coming home.
I think i am going to take up painting.